In The Land of Perhaps

by Sven Olsen's Brutal Canadian Love Saga

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about

A 14 song crash course in New Zealand life and customs. In The Land of Perhaps is part of the acclaimed Almanac.

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released December 11, 2015

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Sven Olsen's Brutal Canadian Love Saga Wellington

Our special limited edition fly swat and book deluxe combo has now sold out. The Almanac is an illustrated book and six albums worth of songs about a typical year of life in New Zealand, land of laid back catastrophe. You can still download this digital audio Everest here for next to nothing. Kapai! ... more

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Track Name: God Gave Us Lemons and We Made Citrus Queens
GOD GAVE US LEMONS AND WE
MADE CITRUS QUEENS

In the beginning there was the Hillman Imp
God said: I need a driver, that idiot in the Swanndri, pick him.
So I got behind the wheel of my first automobile
and sped to Maungatap – u

When I got there, the princess was tending her wine
Her arms were threaded through a rotary clothes line
She said: Do you wanna pash or would you prefer the bash?
Make up your eff ’n mind!

Do do doo doo, Do doo doo doo doo,
Do do doo doo, Do do doo doo doo,
Doooo do, doooo do, doooo do doooo

I leaned forward to edge of my hopes and dreams
Th e princess roared: My god, those flares on your jeans!
I said: they were handed down to me at the dawn of antiquity
at the place where my mother cleans.

I looked up and the sky was a measle of stars
Th e Milky Way had a dreadful rash up her arms
But we repaid her faith, by furthering the human race
on behalf of all mankind

Do do doo doo, Do doo doo doo doo,
Do do doo doo, Do do doo doo doo,
Doooo do, doooo do, doooo do doooo

I awoke bathed in a shower of sparks
We were upside down as they arced from the roof of the car
which was fl ipping on two wheels and skating across tarseal
like a gymnast in the dark

I said: Princess, our journey is at an end
Providence hath decreed this be our fi nal bend
My promise of A to B is no longer reality
Would you join me in A and E?

Do do doo doo, Do doo doo doo doo,
Do do doo doo, Do do doo doo doo,
Doooo do, doooo do, doooo do doooo
Track Name: Fosbury Flop
FOSBURY FLOP

It was just after the Treaty out the back of Ohauiti
I was doing the Fosbury Flop
I pressed my hands to the sides of my effl uent strides
When something in my teenage mind went pop

It was just after the Ark down at Pemberton Park
We were kicking a ball in the dark
As the grass turned Braille we all popped an ale
And clasped its bitter judgement to our hearts

We don’t care about the charms of the city, the charms of the city, we’re off
We don’t care about the charms of city, the charms of the city,
Waimapu looking pretty or your silly Rose of Tralee, because we’re off Goff
We don’t care about the charms of the city, the charms of the city, we’re off
We don’t care about the charms of city, the charms of the city,
Waimapu looking pretty or your silly Rose of Tralee, because we’re off Goff

We're off Goff, we're off Goff

It was just after the Treaty out the back of Ohauiti
I was doing the Fosbury Flop
I pressed my hands to the sides of my effl uent strides
When something in my teenage mind went pop
Track Name: Anvil House
ANVIL HOUSE

I’m going down to Anvil House
To find your missing finger
You left it on the bandsaw
And the memory’s lingered

You commandeered the battlements
A cut above the rest
Sunglassed the ramparts
Now you’re filed amongst the Ms

The passionless people
The passionless people
have polished you off
The passionless people
The passionless people
have polished you off

I’m going down to Anvil House
To find your missing finger
You left it on the bandsaw
And the memory’s lingered
Track Name: Lawnmower Shopping
LAWN MOWER SHOPPING

It’s Friday o’clock, nine in the morning
My night’s work is done, the sun’s still warming
You said: Try this Nige, you’re only 26 once.
Now I’m lawn mower shopping, I’m lawn mower shopping on drugs

I’ve got no use for now, save it for later
I stand at the rim of my eyes like craters
Stare down at the world, I look back at my Mum
Now I’m lawn mower shopping, lawn mower shopping on drugs

Mooching round the basement of the Farmers
Trying to engage about the two strokes
Trying out the throttles and the catchers
Mooning at the salesman as if I’m in love

I bend my reflection in the sides of the kettles
My eyes are as hot as a Red Dot Special
The name of the day is on the tip of my tongue
Now I’m lawn mower shopping, lawn mower shopping on drugs

Mooching round the basement of the Farmers
Trying to engage about the two strokes
Trying out the throttles and the catchers
Mooning at the salesman as if I’m in love

I climb out of the basement, light as a curse
Hiss like a vampire, could’ve been worse
At least for once I wasn’t drunk as a skunk
I’m just lawn mower shopping,
I’m just lawn mower shopping
I’m just lawn mower shopping, lawn mower shopping with Mum